friends should exceed all boundaries.the same way that love does.cos friends are also bonded by love.
the fact that the picture could be complete even after 10 years.
that is an achievement already.
there WILL be a day that the picture will be forever complete.
everyone in the picture has their own lives.but despite that.the pple in the picture will always hold a special place in everyone's heart.for those were friendships and memories that are worth keeping for the rest of our lives.

in our imperfections.our friendship is made perfect.
in our incompleteness.we are made complete.
the story of the complete picture will stay.forever.cos that is what has kept us going and had us looking forward to.
the word 'hope' will always stay.cos even if we dun meet on earth anymore.we will up there.
we are more than friends.we are a family.we are brothers- and sisters-in-Christ.
we have the special bonding.the spiritual bonding.when we worship.we worship as one.no matter where we are.we ARE one.

10 years of friendship is hard to come by.
when its nearly just routine to see each other every sunday.
when yu start to take everyone for granted.

now when it seems like everyone is going different directions.
dada.its not your fault.this is the way life is.
people come and people leave.even the closest of friends would one day part.
parting in the physical means nothing.when friendship outlasts everything.
there is always hope of meeting up.there is always that day to look forward to when we have a complete picture once more.
there is always the day when we will never have to part again.

till then.we have hope.and that friendship.and love.and the author of it all.God.that keeps us together.

to dada//

happy birthdayy.

hit by a gazillion emotions..hais.

i wish.i wish.i wish...

start with after i blogged.
-started to rot around at home.till bout 4.left house to meet posh.then off to dom's house.was meant to be a freaking surprise.hmm.its just too surprising.oops.haha.im making an effort to sound happy here.anyways.wanted to cook.but auntie eileen said next time.so erm.ok.anyways.we cleaned up his room.ok not the whole room.the whole room will require a whole day.haha.anyways.spent bout 2 hours on it.had a good time tho.like found his primary 1 wordbank?.lOlx.also.stuff like.erm.last year's camp file.which was totally chucked.erm..yea.a lot of stuff.found my book.and cleared all his last time sch stuff.resulted in two large recycling bags.beautiful huh?.*proud of myself*.

dada and kenn was so nice.they treated both of us pizza hut.=) had a good time and all.dada finally bought a watch.and yea.somewhat got a job interview for tml.still wondering whether i wanna work there or not.hmmm.anyways.we caught a cab to church and all.cos sam is like waiting for dada and kenn for badminton.anyways was around there.and like.when aunty dawn came we gave her a tour around church and all.didnt know some much happened then??.*read dom's blog*.anyways.hang around till mum came.and then went home.and somewhat plonked into bed.was msging posh and mich then.
shout out to mich hey my dear devil mortal!! still sorry to hear that all your partying plans were kinda ruined.but ohwells.there's still next week.rights?? =) tk care gurl.missed ya lots!!.
back again.anyways.did my toenails.now they are pretty and all.=) its erm.purple??.glittery yea.was conferencing with dada and posh for bout 2 hours++ nearing 3 hours.putting ma's phone on loudspeaker is draining its batt.its still charging at the moment anyways.
the convo was very much cool.we managed to somewhat have a 3-way convo.that which had not succeeded exactly a week ago.at this exact time last week.3 of us were sitting somewhere isolated and talking till sunrise.and i bet i can somewhat rem what we were talking about at this time.this exact time.but that's not the point.
a week ago.it was still the 2nd time we've met portia after so long.yea.it seemed so long ago.we have been meeting everyday since then.and nearly everything seemed so fine and all.ok fine.we had a quarrel and all.but heyy.as fast as we start it.nearly as fast we forgive and forget.its like.that is how strong friends we are??.
since that is so.why cant i think stuff and make decisions to his benefit??.im just too selfish...

i was seriously hoping.that when i asked yu whether this is the last time we're gonna talk like this.yu're gonna say no.but yea.the cold hard fact is yes.it is the last time.everything is over.yu're moving on to this new life without much of us.yea.in 20 hours.throw in a celebration.whatever.
i miss the silence we had.the comfortable silence of which we know that the other side is still around.ears open for anything that will come out anytime.
i miss just talking.crap or serious stuff.painful or fun.how fast the topics change.and how much stuff we have told each other.
i miss that voice.which i wun be hearing for quite a while.its painful.yu know.its like.something that is used to go in your ears.it wun be there anymore.emptiness??.i dun quite know what to expect.
i dunno how it'll be like tml.most prob ill be painfully counting down.all the way.i want to call yu at like.1159 and just say goodbye.i dun wanna cry in front of yu.i know yu cant take it.neither will yu know what to do.yu'll like just walk away and tell me to calm down or something.*smile bitterly*.
i dunno what to expect on sunday.when i dun see yu at your usual hangouts.yu wun be anywhere around.yu wun be having lunch with us.yu wun be seen running about.this void in there wun be filled.cos its for yu.seeing yu there for 10 years makes me take yr presence for granted already.
but i guess so.pple have to move on.twists and turns are part of life.you'll never know what happens at the next bend.perhaps we might end up taking the same path a few years from now.or maybe not too.
// life is like.dotx.yu can see it as a beginning.yu can see it as the end.yu can see it as neverending.yu can see it as it never started either.its just there.i dunno what i am talking.i am talking english.i just havent really thot out what it all meant.
i never tried life without yu in it.cos yu are the 'power' person in my life.at many times.i just feel redundant and all.i feel totally notneeded at all.helpless useless.yeps.linnet is still right.this rship is very emotional draining for me.its not often that what i put in is not as much as i get back.but hey.i still think its all worth it.
and here i go again.yu are worth all my energy my efforts my phone bills my money.you are worth all the shiit i go through.you are worth all the tears all the sweat all the emotions.cos yu rawk in my life.yu get it??

//after all this.i am going MIA.dun bother getting me anyone.if i need to ill get you.

to posh and dom// i love you both loads.
to everyone in the complete picture// hope that one day.the picture will really really really be complete.and it will never be seperated again.

back.am grounded for the next two days.but guess what.seriously.i couldnt be bothered.
just wanna spend every single last seconds..minutes..hours..days..with my dada and posh.

i dunno.but are yu contradicting yourself?.yu want to erase your past.but we are from your past.
memories and friendship is all we have.is it possible to keep friendship and yet no memories?? what makes that friendship special then.seeing you for more than 52 times a year and now reduced to i dunno what.i am still not sure whether i can take it.can stuff be still the same.can we still carry on a conversation properly or will everything just be awkward.
i asked yu last night whether yu will miss talking late at night and all.ill tell yu i am going to miss it like hell.like.there will be no point in staying up late at night.pretending im waiting for yr call or stoning in front of the tv while they show days of our lives??.is it ever possible that we can just continue talking like that??.i dont want this to change..

- feeling vulnerable.

aww.posh says hopefully we will be in your future too.hmmm.

yu're in for a BIG surprise tonight.grins.

RYNs-
ron hey bro.zhss funfair what time ahh?.grins.anyways.what kinda stuff do YOU think i will want??.grins.must gimme discount or something ahh.love ya.*hugs*
dawn haha.my friend's gf is also going there!!.everyone's a big family again.haha.who else went to design do you know?? =)

i am NOT getting over it.

i nv promised i wun write any angry entries.so here's one.
the only irritating thing is that i cant stay angry.so im sorry.this will just be another sad and angry with myself entry??
BAHHH.

turned down jobs that my dad helped me look for.told him im in a bad mood.
and my fucking mum is giving me fucking attitude.and she's fucking rubbing it in.
what fuck.i hate them all.

-------------------------------------------------

-suddenly in the midst of everything-im not angry anymore-

dom yu rawk.=)

ok happy happy stuff.we went to take neoprints yest.and we watched butterfly effect.second time for me.it IS good!!.haha.took two sets of neoprints.and dada!! you look good!!.must take more..=)

RYNs-
tho i feel like its so totally no ending.like aww.haha.let's cont bout the cake.
sam my bunk's aircon didnt malfunction.in fact it was kinda freezing.just that it was dripping water.haha.that so reminds me of gigi's room.aww.haha.and jce went to turn the temp up..like arghs.anyways it was still cold after that.haha.yups we are good.so what's the next person we're tackling?.lOlx.
dada see no point of replying yu suddenly.hahah.its the freaking same stuff i wanna say to sam.haha.anyways.i cant believe yu din tell yr dad till yest??!!!! *bish*
dawn my class rachel is going to the same course as me too.=) is suetz going to hospitality and management or tourism management?? wheeeeeeee.happy can see cedarians in tp.grins.
jce man gurl.yu gotta cheer up too.ok im not practising what i preach too.arghs.but yea.

-looking at the complete picture.-
// tell me.is this the last time we are going to be so happy together??.
no.im not going to let that happen.
it cant happen.if it is.i wish that i never lived past that day.

7th day that i see portia.hmm not dom.i din see him on tues.
what is this? express catching up? yu wun get an overload with this rights? *thinks*

//
past to be f// look. if ur gonna leave and dan 3 yrs ltr
u come back...
past to be f// im prob gonna give u the same treatment i
give jie now
//

posh.yu get why i say that i am redundant??.
i AM redundant.
i am still notneeded.

RYNs-
//
dawn heyy gurl.thanks.haha.anyways i'll see yu ard tp next time.=) tk care!!
sam i asked yu whether yr bunk had the temperature of a fridge??.haha.nvm.yea it still had the shape.good enough.haha.thanks ahh.for keeping quiet bout everything.dada didnt even suspect a thing!!.aww.are we good or what??.haha.
jce thanks thanks.it totally deserves a place there.yeps the pic is totally cool.shud have taken more??.=) thinking of making a collage next?.grins.i see what i can do.bout yr blog??.i wanna talk to yu again!!.
dada what weird cake??!!! haha.yu dare to say the tiramisu wasnt good??.haha.and slacker rachel says that yu're lame.haha.what revenge??!!! but nonetheless.thanks on the effort to give me a pleasant surprise too.=)
posh hey dear!! its been really good to be able to hang out with yu again.=) we'll have more of these k??.promise!! love ya lots.and yes.its been great worshipping with yu and dom.its like another prayer answered.*a beautiful picture*.

still deluding myself.but.heck.i gotta be strong..

let me stay in my fantasy world.forever..

i didnt wanna talk about what is about happen after the picture is complete.perhaps i wanna delude myself.maybe i just wanna pretend that this IS the happy ending already.and nothing else is going to happen again.
again i feel what i have been feeling a few weeks or even months back.those tears comes rushing back just thinking about it.
guess what song's playing now - complete.
this IS getting painful..*tear drops*

am i taking it too badly?? i wish i cud just be like posh.understanding..supportive.maybe its just cos the last hmm.8 months a lot has happened.its fucking difficult to let go now.
jce is feeling it too??

a fucking torn picture

it so sounds like a dream.

i missed posh.now she's back.
i am missing liane and cleo.
i am going to miss yu soon.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.this sucks like hell.
and yep.im making myself feel worse by playing all the frigging depressing songs.yu ask me what's wrong with me??.geez i dunno.
just wanna run and hide in my own lil small corner.and like dun ever get out.
and to yu.so much thanks for dampening my mood ehh.tell me i cant make it to church camp??!!! *bish!!* pray hard hard sch starts like on the third week.or better.last week on june.i will like fake a one-week mc or something.

i still cannot believe its the end already.
beautiful morning call yu gave me this morning.'nopes.21st was'

ok i know yu hate me acting like this and all.hopefully after this post i can somewhat get over it.and yes.im keeping to that promise.and yr birthday wish.
no more sadness.no more misses.no more cuts.

looking fwd to church camp.3 months is an awfully long time.
we still have plans.we still have promises.we still owe each other stuff.

it is not finished.

the complete picture

retreat has been good and bad.wasnt much of an emotional drain but it is like.yea.times when i was feeling very happy.and sometimes not that good.let's start with after i last blogged.

went to get the cake from tp.then went back to the campsite.no one was back from the amazing race.kept the cake in sam's bunk.and yikes like it melted!!.arghs.haha.we had a soft soft tiramisu.but haha.its not bad lahh.pple like can le.anyways.met up with liane and cleo at kovan.and my goodness.both of them are so pretty!!.haha.cleo is like real real skinny.like can-see-bone kind of skinny.aww.cleo must eat more!!.haha.then we went back in a cab.but its like.freak.dom called and he and ron was like.at kovan hoping to meet us??.arghs.haha.anyways we got back.met up with portia and all.aww its like this big big reunion for everyone!!.grins.yups.
had the bbq.din really eat much or whatever.had posh to engage dom with like talking.=) and me was running around like EVERYWHERE.collecting pple and all.haha.and like writing that giant card.haha.it was touching.mean like everyone's msgs.haha.according to him.grins.yea.we went to get ready after that.and like.arghs.the cake melted!!.kinda panicked when the door locked on itself.and we couldnt take the cake out cos it melted??.haha.and dom comes banging on the door.ahhh.and my dear gigi and rebekah like did that total com-repellent thing.scream!!!.like total high frequency.like if yu see a cockroach kinda scream.haha.
we got ready and like.dragged him from his bunk.haha.its like.one dark room.and yu see all the pple yu treasure for your life in there.singing yu a birthday song.aww.and yes.my prayer was answered.yu were happy rights?.check out that happiness on his face later down.=) yups.the card was good.the present was too.it better be.it costs a bomb.haha.its like.so heartwarming.to see his sadness leave his face and all.nearly wanted to cry.its just too happy.hear him say thank you and everyone and that he is very touched.it made all the shit i went through and all the effort and brains to plan it all worth every single bit of it.excessive cream went on dom's face.haha.its so like back to the good ol' days.aww.
anyways.we took a lot of photos.haha.linked to be put laters.hmm.then liane and cleo went off and shimin and ken went off and those stuff.then posh me dom were sitting at the bball court like looking at stars.then more pple came to join us.haha.wondering what happened.anyways.like a lot of pple came.then seemed like there was some stuff that went wrong.like.mern and fangyu supposedly went out for a movie or something.anyways.they gave diff stories.and then the camp comm.asked them bout it and they gave totally shiity attitudes.like uh oh.were asked to leave and the camp comm and uncle kc dealt with them.dunno what happened.but oh well.
posh jce and i were talking around.then we went down to the canteen to like meet dom to talk talk.jce went back to sleep at bout 2.then we hmm.went to somewhere private to talk.and yea.hit on the sensitive stuffs and all.didnt mention earlier bout dom storming out and stuff.wanna know read dom's blog.dowanna relate sad stuff here?.ahh.difficult not to.anyways.just three of us.we didnt really like talk a lot.so in the end.posh fell asleep??.haha.its like only after she fell asleep.then dom and i started to talk.haha.oops sorry gurl.he then found out that i like was the overall in charge??.like ahh yu din know??.i asked yu stupid questions and dragged yu to citylink to show me what yu wan.haha.ahh fine.im good.haha.yea.had a good time.only returned to the bunks at 6am.grins.haha.
posh landed on the bed and poof she was asleep.haha.and then i didnt sleep like till i got an empty bed cos jasmine got out of bed.like bam i lied down and i fell asleep straight.=) haha.slept till 9am.bout there.then cleared out the bunks.had the last worship session.i luv my sister.its like she was leading and she led everyone to a freaking emotional high.then she sang jesus loves me.like.ahh.those simple words..

Jesus loves me this i know
for the bible tells me so
little ones to him belong
they are weak but He is strong

yes Jesus loves me
yes Jesus loves me
yes Jesus loves me
the bible tells me so

then the uniting pple kinda of songs.first was the theme song.people of the Lord.then one voice.its great seeing everyong bonding together.like arms linked hands held kinda stuff.its like so united.then uncle kc gave a challenge.and so happy to see pple dear to me rededicate their lives to God.aww.yea.
broke camp.and sat around for a while then went to heartland yoshi to eat.whee.stayed there till like 3.reached home.and bathed and came out for wedding at church.haha.pei was gorgeous in that full length dress.grins.haha anyways the food there was like ... its freaking good.anyways had cg at uncle tony's after.then we came back to church for band prac.it was reasonably fine.haha.yups.and got back at 10pm to uncle tony's to celebrate dom and mian's birthday.haha like.ahhh.dom gets to eat birthday cake like 2 times in 24 hours.haha.got home and conked out till this morning 8am.
got to church.yf worship was not bad.was kinda like sleepy.screwed up a lil here and there.oops.like play wrong notes and stuff.aww.
the main worship was awesome.it was like 3 of us.me posh dom.and yea.haha i KNOW.all of us were tearing.haha.i heard all the sniffing and blah blah.haha.its all the emotional high songs.then last song before prayer was heart of worship.like.ahhhh.then i offer my life for offering.another ahhhh.then closing song was spirit touch your church.and three of us held hands together and sang it.like.hais.ahhhhhhhhhh.

one reason why church friends are so special is because we have a special spiritual bonding when all of us worship together.

then went for lunch with the whole cg and posh and jin and sam jnr.haha.its like kinda funny.enjoy jokers like jin and dom together and all.grins.=) love all of yu!!.enjoy this kinda fellowship.like so sad parts at all.haha.
then came home and come online.the guys went for soccer.quite good weather.no rain as yet.grins.thank God.

-----
reflecting on stuff.thank God for answering so many of my prayers.
// the surprise went well.and yes.he was touched and truely happy.good enough.
// the picture is finally complete.
// kinda like right with God again.can worship Him freely again.its like in our brokeness we are complete in Him.
// the retreat was something that i can remember.
// God spoke to me in QT on friday morning.main stuff is to never lose hope and never give up.cos as long as God's grace operates, failure is never final. always assume the best of every situation.and yea.persevere.so yea.dom im alright with yr decision.=) in fact.ive realised that yu might even grow better and more somewhere else other than in cbc.fellowship still here ahh.lOlx.
-----
i love all yu guys.esp the ones in the picture.friends are forever.=)
ok stuff i owe yu peeps.
// surprise birthday pics-courtesy of jce.=)
// dom's pure happiness smile.ehh dun kill me for putting this here hor dada.its just something worth putting on.and yes.yu look good in it.=)


yups.hee.anyone wans his number?.haha.
okok enough le.ta peeps!!

the party goes on.and the picture is finally complete.

NEWSFLASH!!!
CEDAR GIRLS' RED CROSS YOUTH won national footdrill comp!!!!!!!!!!!
1st in standard category.1st in open category.best commander.1st overall!!!
// to all cedar red cross peeps- so proud of yu all!!! congratulations girls!! you all have done cedar very very very very very very proud.=))

gotta go byee.

sneaked back from camp.to yea.slack around and all.getting my stuff todayy.and yea i AM excited bout it!!.for once.all of us will be together.kinda say what.im kinda dreading it.after this.it just draws nearer to the time where everything will happen??.feel so.terrible inside.

camp was reasonably fine.treating her nice.dunno why.im nice by nature i guess.grins.haha.rights.
my sis got pissed by lays.she was so pissed she didnt sleep till 1am.i love my sister.she's so cute.aww.
it feels weird.its like im in constant lookout for him??.in case he does anything stupid.what fuck.i should learn to just trust him more.he deserves my trust.

to dada// read yr blog.and feel.its fucking painful.yu know the kind when yu just read and experience the pain the person's feeling??.i dun like to see yu being so miserable.everytime yu not smile or even if yu do.there's still this sadness around yu.pray that tonight.for once.yr sadness might just leave yr face.tk care.ilu.i promise yu i will look out for her.and if i really need to i will protect her.too.k?
to sam// ill seriously try to play it.when i have the time.arghs.just havent gotten down to open my piano up.promise yu i will play it one day.be it next month or next year.kk?

countdown to reunion// 6 hours

the picture's getting complete..hais.
feel like crying.but nah.gotta be strong.for dada.

is it like something in common for all guys that they dun like to see gurls cry??.
something about feeling helpless and dunno what to do.

gotta get down to work.let the party begin.

ta.

its gonna be complete soon.

went out with en todayy.haha.hmm walked orchard stretch and citylink.spent near 3 hours at one shop.man.haha.
tml's retreat and i havent packed?.layout change gotta come only next week.hais.okok bear with this layout for a few more days.

to do list-
// pack my bag.
// finalise all plans
// go for camp
// go for training
// help rach change hosting site for her pic
// change my layout

to dada// your hair rocks!!grins.

time to go.dun miss me too much peeps.

im starting to miss yu..

things are turning out better these days.much better than the week before.when everything is just making me feel like dying straight away.
apologies goes to dada// sorry if i 'hit' yu again last night.yr birthday wishes to me??.i promise yu all that.and i am intending to keep it.so pls discipline me next time.love yu dada.

sTuffs-
was on the phone with dada till 330.conked out till 10 in the morning.ppa called me and i told her ill get to school when i wake up.which was like 1 1/2 hour laters.fancy drill wasnt bad.and im telling everyone that i love my sqdmates and my juniors.haha.my sqdmates for doing so much for the unit.and juniors for cooperating.left at 4 learning that ron is already at mac half an hour before.and like.man its raining.haha.got a lil wet and all.but it was fine.had a good talk with ron.haha.i love yu too ron!!.yea got home had porridge for dinner and yea finish.haha.

countdown to retreat cum reunion// 3 days

thinking of a change in layout..hmm.we'll see how.
tv's good tonight.must catch.grins.byee.

RYNs and shOut oUts-
ANGELic// my dear angel.the only one that shouts f*ck yu at me.is my dada.and yu rather me shout fuck yu at yu?? tk care.
sam// i have hell no idea at all.and yea i dun think i bother.=) and yea.i should consider scraping the idea of using vulgarities in my blog.
dada// ahhhhh!!.no purple board shorts pls.haha.love ya!!haha.tk care dada.
posh// aunt posh!! miss yu lots!! see yu on friday...*hugs*!!!

waSsups-
sunday has been estactic.its like.ok yf was.hmm.not bad.haha.accept my sudden organ appearance freaked myself out.haha.anyways.portia appeared!!.its like.man.she rawk.she just pops out.ok we kinda have caught up with each other's lives.and she is still the portia i rem.i love that gurl..we went out after svc.oh yahh svc was good.and yes.it aint a coincidence.God IS speaking to me i guess.it just comes.i want to like block it sometimes.but it persist.and that speaker keep looking at me!!like he IS talking to me kinda stuff.and yeaa.he was hitting right there.
ok back to yea we went out.first to cine.to have lunch.then we went to suntec to meet dada and everyone else.we waited like EONS for them to come.and end up dada gotta treat posh and i pretzels.grins.aww dada adores posh.dun believe go read his blog.haha.posh i aint speaking nonsense!!.haha.
we walked around carrefour and all.and my feet hurt like hell.one i am wearing heels.two i am getting blisters.three carrefour is BIG.haha.anyways we had dinner at KFC AGAIN.like i am eating that every meal out.its the cheapest anyways.yea then jyang drove us home and yes..haha.8 of us squeezed into that car.haha.man my feet was still hurting.jyang and sam jnr in front.sam me and janna on the seats.dom gigi char on us respectively.haha.man!! its crazy.then after a while i realise it wasnt just gigi on me but also half of dom.like.what the.haha.we had to hide from the traffic police and all.drove me home and bathed and ate chicken rice.was hungry lahh.anyways then watched tv and talked on the phone with dada.i love my dada.grins.talked till bout 4.and we put down.
slept for 6 hours and sa called me and ordered me to get down to cedar like at once.anyways reached there at 1110.so yups its cool.i left my bed at 1030 anyways.haha.then at 140 i met my girlfriend.haha.we walked around town looking for dada's bday pressie and yes at least we had something achieved.getting down one of these days to get it..it freaking all costs a bomb.yu better appreciate ahh dada.haha.
reached home and give my sis tuition and now im bumming here missing my xi jie.haha.ok im like getting off soon.

countdown to retreat cum reunion// 4 days

the picture is going to be complete.real soon.and the party will go on.

i love my girlfriend.

yest-
// went to sch at like.945.had a stupid break where i just sat there and drink milo.was kinda in a bad mood the day before.did stupid stuff that not everyone should know about.and yea.had a girl talk with my dear.and hmm.went for maths tutorial.haha.that's the only one we all went for.cos that's the only teacher we like.then after that when we hmm sneaked off.didnt really get to.cos that f*cking asshole called zaihan is there like a watchman.like so what if he is the f*cking DM.we managed to get out but wtf.he came out in his car and stopped by the road and asked us.what are we doing out of the school.like.f*ck you!!.nahh.if we say that we wun be out till now.we told him we withdrew.which was kinda true.cos like its the freaking last day of school and hell i dun ever wanna step into sr again.at least not for a f*cking long time.
// out with siti fiona marc shihao boon weiren priya.ate naan at lil india.i think we all are crazy.but it wasnt as bad.its just.the *ahem*.
// went to PS watch movie.boon watched haunted mansion with some marists i think.marc shihao me and siti went to watch mystic river.man.its damn good.tho i dun quite understand what's so err.nc-16 about it.maybe its all the fuck fuck fuck.or maybe the violence.or maybe the fact that they talked about pedophiles.or however yu spell that.but its good.no wonder its an oscar winning show.i must watch LoTR soon!!.i promise myself i will!! i will!! i will!!
// got over to ah ma's.havent seen them all for a long time.aww miss them.then my two lil cousins came to stay overnight.cos their parents went clubbing??.like.what the.that is so cool??.

todayy-
// went to cedar at bout 11.shan called me 4 times and ppa called me once.like.freak lahh.disturb my sleep.went there and like.hais.everything bout them is cool except the fucking attitude.helped them look for a new fancy drill song and yea.came up with a few but yet.seemed like not very welcomed.so yea.kinda worried dunno how they are so gonna end up.
// went to church late.first person i realise is in church.other than the pple playing.is him.like.why cant i not recognise him at least 50m away.what f*ck.anyways was with a black face already and andrew come talking to me and telling me to use this this this this this for playing.like EXCUSE ME.i dowanna use a f*cking harp or jazz guitar to play.if im gonna use that im gonna play it like the way it is.*roll eyes*.anyways rehearsal was freaking fast we finished in like less than an hour?.ok about there.then since i couldnt stand staying under that roof anymore.i dragged my sis and daryl out for dinner at heartland.bought my jeans.dun dare claim yet.what made my day was that i got that jeans 50% off.cos that guy saw that i had an atm card in my wallet and like man!!.its a huge diff yu know??yea.that's the only thing that made my day.
// my dad's back from taiwan.got back with quite a lot of stuff.got a huge writing pad and all.wonder who to write to.and he got like 3 cds that's kinda like cool.hmm.dun have mood to listen now tho.

RYNs-
sam// that was called suck??.what the.haha.okok ill go try out the piece out soon..haha..SOON.
yu// i rather i know.i worry.i get hurt.than be not part of your life at all.yu understand??.no matter what.yu still rawk.ilu.

the party will go on.and then.the picture will be complete.

//ripped from mel j.but before yu read this read my entry below lahh.hahaha.

001) Name: angel
002) D.O.B.: 271187
003) Location: my house
004) Religion: christian ehh.but whatever it aint a religion its a faith.grins.
005) Occupation: full time slacker.
006) Contact: name it and ill give it.

- APPEARANCE -
001) Hair: i have no idea myself.its like.messed up.somewhere between red and brown now..
002) Eyes: its brown its brown its a f*cking brown!!
003) Height: this is a sensitive question
004) Weight: this TOO is a sensitive question.ahh fine im fatt.

- STYLE -
001) Clothing: whatever's in my wardrobe.no fashion disaster or guru anyways.
002) Music: hmm.everything.
003) Make-up: i dun wear make up!!.dun like it anyways.
004) Body art: hmm.try 3 on the left ear and 2 on the right.

- RIGHT NOW -
001) Wearing: what trick question?? clothes.
002) Listening to: the stupid vehicles drive past downstairs.
003) Thinking of: i hope their cars break down.......................*sadist freak*

- LAST THING YOU... -
001) Bought: food.
002) Ate and drank: a floss bun frm breadtalk and tap water.
003) Read: hahah.that javascript book!! which i cant make sense at all.
004) Watched on TV: err.some hk movie that was on till 330am in the morning.

- EITHER / OR -

001) Club or houseparty: i cant club and my hse aint big enuf.
002) Tea or coffee: both works fine.but rather not take them not.isomnia.
003) Achiever or slacker: that is like total obvious question.im a full time slacker hello??!!!
004) Beer or cider: cant take both.*glares at dad* kkk fine i know yu meant well.
005) Drinks or shots: no alcohol so what do yu say??
006) Cats or dogs: me.i bite too.=)
007) Single or taken: someone once told me the grass is much greener on the other side...
008) Pen or pencil: marker.i so love not answer the question.wheeeee.
009) Gloves or mittens: this climate doesnt allow both.so quit asking me.
010) Food or candy: i live to eat.
011) Cassette or CD: cd.cassette is so..out.and boxy.
012) Coke or Pepsi: both has cocaine idiiot.
013) Hard or mild alcohol: ...stop rubbing it in.
014) Matches or a lighter: no patience for matches.besides a lighter last longer.
015) Sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: the beach the beach.they are more eye candy than some pple.
016) Rickie lake or Oprah Winfrey: oprah winfrey??.that cancer lady izzit??.

- LAST PERSON YOU... AND WHEN? -
001) Touched: myself??!!!
002) Talked to: my mum.answered with a grunt or something.cant rem.
003) Hugged: what crap.err.cant rem.
004) Instant messaged: siti..to ask her to come online to talk to me cos my bills are high.
005) Kissed: my pillow.wait it isnt a person.hmm.i dun give kisses out so easily lahh shiit yu.
006) Who broke your heart: im not telling.
007) Had a crush on: i gave up on them kinda long ago??.

- WHERE DO YOU... -
001) Eat: anywhere that seems appealing
002) Dance: in the bathroom and i slip and i fall and i sprain my ankle.RIGHT.
003) Cry: as long as im alone.most prob in my room and locked up.
004) Wish you were: heaven.

HAVE YOU EVER...

001) Dated one of your best friends?: ..im not taking the risk.
002) Loved somebody so much it makes you cry?: what f*ck.dun ask.
003) Drank alcohol?: a 21year old whiskey that nearly knocked me out.
004) Done drugs: yea.anything from panadol to sleeping pills.
005) Broken the law: ehh yep.
006) Ran away from home: thought of.havent found the opportunity to.
008) Cheated on a test: ..yea oops.learnt from it nv did it again.
009) Skinny dipped: if i have a bathtub yes.
010) Played truth or dare: what planet have yu been living on??!!!
011) Flashed someone: ...i do and either they puke or wolf whistle and come rape me like so.NO.
012) Mooned someone: i dun.
013) Kissed someone you didn't know: cmon someone come dare me mann.
014) Been on a talk/game show: nv liked the media.
015) Been in a fight: hmm words a lot.last time really fought was when im 10?.strangled a guy.
016) Ridden in a fire truck: i dun work for the fire brigade.soo sorry.
017) Been on a plane: oooh oooh!! i can fly i can fly!!! *roll eyes*
018) Come close to dying: i wish.
019) Cheated on your wife/husband? : gimme a husband first.
020) Gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: sayy.natty?.
021) Eaten a worm/mud pie?: no...........it most prob wun pass the AVA.
022) Swam in the ocean: the ocean's too far to be seen.
023) Had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up: nightmares..ahhhh.

- WHAT IS... -

001) The most embarrassing CD in your collection?: i dun collect cds.
002) Your bedroom like?: in a mess.
003) Your favorite thing for breakfast?: milo.and nothing else.
004) Your favorite thing for lunch?: food.
005) Your favorite thing for dinner?: food.
006) Your favorite Restaurant?: hmm.nooch? or sizzler.man the steak's good.

- ARE YOU... -

001) A Vegetarian?: a very much meat person.and i dun eat half the vegetables that is around.
002) A Good Student?: hmm.im nice.=)
003) Good At Sports?: is slacking a sport?
004) Wakeboarding/snowboarding: they dun have both in sg so i dunno.
005) A Good Singer?: *sings off*.that was so on purpose.grins.
006) A good Actor/Actress?: i usually like to tell the truth??.hahah.
007) A deep sleeper?: enough to sleep through my alarm clock.
008) A Good Dancer?: dehh wrong person.
009) Shy?: hmm.never was?? more like dao.haha.
010) Outgoing?: why dun yu tell me?haah.
011) A good storyteller?: i tell lame stories that no one laughs to.
012) Last words?: ...

im gonna fall asleep le.better take a nap before everything happens tonight.

yest-
// went to watch butterfly effect.ahhh!!.its freaking nice.everyone must watch!!
// walked around orchard with en.aww im so gonna miss walking around with you gurl.
// went for band prac.quite.fun.hmmm considering i had the liberty to sing whatever i wanted?.and hmm.janna's voice and my voice are considerably blended.which is good.

todayy-
// went to crash sr.wheee.attended maths lecture and no more.sat at study area doing nothing.
// ct and i went to orchard.ate at PS kfc.then walked to heeren.took neoprints.haha fun.love ya dear!!.then got caught in the rain and went over to paragon.we walked around and looked at all the names of the shops and try to pronounce them properly.haha.well.it was fun.especially when we are freaking bored and all.uh huh then we went to wisma then taka.then to pacific plaza.and then home.haha.and we encountered 3 pple selling that charity tickets with the andersons ice cream thing.it was freaking irritating.
// its killing me.so much stuff is reminding me of him.what fuck.i cant forget i cant forget i cant forget!!.

RYNs-
sam// next time play for me lahh.at least gimme an impression of how it sounds like.kk?.haha.and i dun seem to be able to absorb anything from that javascript book!!.haha.i need at least 72 hours.and looking forward to the forum..grins.
dom dada// what's there to be sorry about?.rem i told yu not to be like sorry bout whatever?.call me when yu can?.seemed like we have a lot of stuff to clear up.

going to sr tml.its the last dayy of sch anyways.and shihao say he'll treat ct and i movie.haha.
band prac on sat afternoon.hmm.time to buy black jeans.the ones at hang ten looks really tempting and nice.and its only 29 bucks.aww.

k i dropping dead.byeeeee.

ehhh.another halfway midnight entry.wheee.
-hmmm.having like a mini sleepover.with my cuzzie.haha.we are gonna go for a movie tml too.so aint staying up too late i guess.grins.

dom papa// tell yu wait for me.yu go off le.no fun lahh yu.=PpPpPppPP
her// yea happy birthdayy.
sam// can yu like help me get the mp3 of lyphard melody??.haha i so cant read it anymore.the last time i touched classical was like.4 years ago.grins.fur elise too.that is like.haha.aww i wanna relearn it.grins.

yest-
// went to far east.had the waffle at half price at Gelare.aww.my fave.haha.
// went to livia and worked for free.like what the.haha.it was kinda fun.and yea.just had a bad backache after that.it could just have been like 3 hours just standing there.cutting sorting stapling labelling.haha.oh well.good experience.

plans ehh-
to all sr peeps// im crashing this thurs!! miss me ma??.haha coming back to visit yu all.grins.
tml// watch movie and stay up late.CSI and dark angel on.grins.fun!!.

hmm nothing much to stay.can feel some stuff slowly fading off already.
thanks for the advices linn.and yea yu're right about a lot of stuff.i just dowan to face it.yet.

retreat- i dunno am i supposed to look fwd to it or not.hmmm.cant imagine what will happen.stumbled upon this letter aunty lay hong gave the sec1s n 2s.was like.yu get heart-to-heart talks to each other.like as if the schedule allows that unless yu're planning on talking till 3am or something.and yu get time to play pray laugh cry together.who is looking fwd to crying with aunty lay hong? you deserve a pat on the back.that makes me so not looking fwd to it.i know i aint going for the right reasons for now.but i know why i am going.and its just cos of that reason.yu know what.

my cuzzie says prepare not to stay online too late when its like at an unearthly hour.but we'll see.grins.
nites peeps.sweet dreams.

Numb | Linkin Park

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know I may end up failing too
But I know You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be

The casual girl


Which girl stereotype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

someone tell me who this girl is?.she looks very familiar but i just cant put a name in.

-------


Confident


What is your behaviour towards guys?
brought to you by Quizilla

rights..

-------


your asshole.


What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

what f*ck.i dun even use this word.

-------


cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

urghs fine.i dun change i guess.

-------

enough.
cinderella in action.time to cook.like wow im so excited.

why am i blogging a gazillion times everyday?.ct dear yu know how does this too.grins.hahaha.ahhh.
byeee.

i f*cking cant get a shiit out of the stupid javascript book.urghs.am i slow or what?.
time to start reading from page 1 again.

*&^%@&%^!&#^%!&%$^!%@#(!*&#!%^&#%^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know some people have realised there is like something wrong with me the past few days.
but now.im generally fine.im moving on with life.very slowly.
life's still in a mess and im still screwed up in a lot of areas.
dun feel like talking to my family and only staying at home to use the com watch tv and sleep.
feel like.im in this world alone?.

take one brick away and the whole wall tumbles down.
felt like that?.no prize guessing what that one brick is.
_________one thing affects my emotions and that affects everyone around.
i guess this is what an interdependent community is.

to all that is affected im sorry.for now i dunno what to do cos i aint totally in control of what i am feeling and all.
to linn// im fine.was like having bad days and all.dun worry.

this is just another depressing post.dun let it spoil yr day.
bye.

is there something with my grammar??.k i admit.my english sucks i got an irritating b3 and so yah.i cant say that my chinese rocks cos the last time i touched chinese was about a month ago.it got rusty i guess.

should get a job soon.my funds are running low and i have only 25bucks left in my bank account.how much suckier can that get?

erin brokovich was good.except that my head was pounding and i felt like i am so gonna pass out and i still gotta wait for a phone call.-i aint planning on any personal attacks here.grins.
anyways i conked out early.bout 1.head couldnt take it.had weird dreams.and yea.

woke up and quarrelled with my mum.what's wrong with me?.locked myself in the room.and stayed there till she sent my sister off to school.watched 'lil nicky'.its freaking lame and totally misleading but who cares.entertainment sake.

-dad's out of the country.will be off for a week.i have to cook.like what the.I DOWANNA COOK.
i wanna just sit around and rot.
the weather's been real nice.its been raining since last night?.cool yes.but to move around and go out not really.these kinda weather makes me freaking sluggish.

results out on the 10th??!!!.what shiit.dreamland over.
urghs.

arghs.there is something wrong with my blogger.maybe i should use the new interface instead.

stuff to do-
// learn up the lyphard melody.i look at the score and i try it out i have no idea what that is supposed to sound like.
// learn up javascript.yu think its possible to finish in 24 hours?.that's crazy.ill see what i can do.

there is something wrong with this house.someone get me earplugs.i dowanna hear anything.and neither do i wanna stay here.except for the comfort of my room and my com.what shiit.

there is something with me against the church.i dunno.its like.i dowanna stay there.there aint gonna be anyone i can stay for anymore.maybe except a few of them.its just so shiity.
pastor was praying for the youths or something.and he was like.'i pray that in this retreat their lives will be changed and never be the same again'.like yes thanks.the last time someone prayed that for the camp last year.and yes.our lives IS never be the same anymore.

lots of stuff happened.and most of it are silly on my part.and im sorry if i let anyone down.
to yu// sorry.for yu know what.and.im trying hard to keep to my promises.but i am just not what yu want me to be.yet.i need more time.and i certainly need help.

my family is screwed up. what shiit.

to jce & dom// the day where the picture is complete will come.it will it will it will.

i havent talked to my dad since i last hung up the phone on him.
he did nothing wrong.except that he got that XY sex chromosomes in him.
its like DUH.but im being unreasonable here so that's that.

the wallet is soo pretty im using it.aww.haha.i feel like.i dunno.i have a hangover?.

should try to catch all the late night shows.whose line is getting kinda lame.like man.but they are good.those few guys ARE intelligent.is the host drew cary(spell?)? it looks like him but i have sure no fucking idea at all.
hmm and there's that cookshow on.where its like kinda fun cos their food is really what yu call delicious.
I WANNA WATCH MORE COOKSHOWS!!.it makes my day.

i should run.going off to ps.
to dom// heyy im trying to get the wrist bands todayy cos ill be needing it.so yu get $8.40 ready yea?.grins.
to butterfly// cheer up gurl.ill miss yu.love ya slcker.

ta peeps.

a fresh start

ok everyone im fine.to all who are concerned.im alive and kicking.
sorry to all who worried.

got stuff kinda cleared up and all.am much more stable compared to yesterday.
-went out with ct.watched something's gotta give.boon like appeared in the theatre.i nearly wanted to shout FUCK OFF!!.but i didnt.aww.i wasnt in the mood of hanging out with guys yesterday.pissed every guy i see.i know lahh.sad.
my dad's a guy.and i AM pissing him off.
went on a mini shopping spree.bought like a sB and a wallet.spent like.hmm about 60 bucks.little yes.but compare that to my allowance.its like.more than half.

my dad's pissed my dad's pissed my dad's pissed!!.he's fucking pissed with me!!...wheeeeeeee.

having late nights these days.tell me bout it.i didnt know that late night tv shows are so nice to watch.
also.i never will have the guts to take a penknife or a knife to cut a few slits on my wrist.but any sharp objects?.grins.
found out that using paperclips are cool.they make marks.but in the morning the marks are gone.except the deeper ones.also.it causes quite some pain.and yups its nice to look at.its like yu have a red line protruding out.making like a bump.wheeeeeee..

ok so there IS wrong in listening to secular music.*roll eyes*.
SOMEONE HELP ME FIND SOME FUCKING NOISY CLASSICAL MUSIC.
nice combi.anyone care to send me?.

deleting the last entry.and putting it somewhere else.to avoid more err.worried pple come knocking at the door?.
bye peeps.

i dun wanna write about how i feel.i broke my promise and i feel like shiit.that's all.

today-
//played pool with [kc].and [aar].[mern].[jon] like.aww.i can hit something.haha.thanks to [kc] and his fren.grins.have to like learn even more next time.too much free time.i should take up and learn something.grins.
//went to sakae buffet with the 3.it was crazy.and the 2 were freaking irritating.like.ahhhhh.havent eaten so many tako yaki at one go before.anyways we ate our money's worth.had a piece of cheesecake.but it cant beat fiesta's or mine.haha.
//walked around.and i was really pissed with [mern] cos he was like sticking me like goo.urghs.i mean at times he's a nice guy.but NOT TODAY.
//[jon] wasnt in a real good mood todayy.poor guy.
//they were freaking saying stuff i totally disagree about in yf.but i didnt wanna say anything thing.just in case i end up like f*cking them or something.*ren3*.
//they went to DFS Galleria to look around.and tried on the shades.hmm i actually look quite good with shades.i should get contacts.but not anytime soon.my mum WUN allow.

i feel really fat.im like eating half a cheesecake.im so not going to eat anything fattening like rice tml.or even the next few days.
awww.byeee.

to [rach].
gurlfren.just wanna tell yu.

it feels like the world is crashing down.
all that seems perfect is ugly.
yu wonder whether all those before is all an illusion.
it seems like you've lost all you've got cos yu've given yr all.
nevertheless its all over.
there is nothing else yu can do.
let's not deceive ourselves.
if you can be friends again.
yu two had a really strong friendship before.
life sucks sometimes.
but the only assurance that you have.
and the only hope that you can pin for.
is that yr heart will be complete again.
cos the Healer of hearts are in.
when whatever is most important to you comes crumbling down.
your true lover comes in.
and love you with all He has.
what rocks is that He will never change.
He will never fail you.
He will love you with all He have.
He will not give up on you.
He will be there all the time.even when you forget about Him.
He loves you.
whatever happens goes according to your life's beautiful plan.
for all things works for the good of those who love Him.
hang on to Him gurl.

i love you too.

Come What May | Moulin Rouge

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather,
And stars may collide
But I love you (I love you)
Until the end of time(until the end of time)

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, Oh I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

ahh.in a melancholic mood todayy.everyone please bear with me.

-johnny depp didnt win the oscar for best leading actor.ok sean penn won.but i guess he is good?.admire the nominees' graciousness.aww.like they dun go up and shoot the winner kinda stuff.and like.LoTR won like gazillion oscars?.or not?.i dunno.its like as long as the nomination is there.they win it.man.i havent even caught it.-_-||

made a promise and i should keep it.its just how hard i will try to keep it.how i wish how i wish..

ooh.i didnt tell bout the achievement i made yest.its like.[gigi] and i sang a kid to sleep.like.woah.i started like 'twinkle twinkle lil star'.and the kid like started closing his eyes.ahh.at the end of the song.the kid was asleep.ahhh.the kid was cute.he drooled on [gigi]'s shirt.poor [gi].grins.

[dar] i wan more sad sad songs!!.aww.that song was familiar.what song was that?.

-i miss yu i miss yu i miss yu.-aww suddenly just wanna kiss someone.ahhhhhhhhhhh.
its like.i wun miss it unless i have it before.but.hais.
that dream was soo real.how i wish it is real

turn to the classical musics
if they can last for decades and still be around.they ARE good.say for example who listens to backstreet boys these days?.and there is still pple learning and listening to classical.
listen to classical peeps.they are freaking good.

go register JAE.haha.planning to put like.3 choices only?.haha.ta.